In Every Light
by Charmed88
Summary: A lot of people say that in every darkness there is a light, but they are wrong. They have it backwards. In every light there is a darkness; a shadow of doubt that looms over you, suffocates you, drowns you." -Harry


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Author's Notes: This is a little ficlet that I wrote when I was feeling particularly angsty. Please read and review!! ALL reviews are welcome except flames. I see no point to them and they can burn in hell.

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Disclaimer: Wow, I usually forget to put one of these on, but there's a first time for everything. Now, follow closely, I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. There, I said it…:sniffle: They always say that the first step to overcoming denial is admitting you're in it. J/K

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In Every Light

A lot of people say that in every darkness there is a light, but they are wrong. They have it backwards. In every light there is a darkness; a shadow of doubt that looms over you, suffocates you, drowns you. It pulls you further and further into its depths until you can't remember a time when there was light. That is the way it really is, but when do _they_ ever deal with reality? They take things and twist them to their satisfaction, never truly _seeing_, but I see. I see everything. What else am I supposed to do? I am meant to be their savior…I was _born_ to be their savior. Nobody cares about what I think; they never consider the fact that I might not **want** to be their bloody savior. No, they would never consider that because that would mean looking at something the way it really is. They are all blind.

They are blind to everything that might upset their perfect little world. In their eyes everything is always ok. There's a Dark Lord, so now there's a Savior to fight him off. There are the certain few who are not blind. Those few have the darkness inside them. They breathe it. They live it. It's a part of them that they know like the back of their hand. Not all that have the darkness can see as I do. Some succumb to the darkness and when that happens they only see the darkness. So, you see, there are two forms of blindness: those who only see light and those who only see dark. I have met many people, blinded by the light and dark, but few see the truth. There is only one other man at this school that sees things as I do. Severus Snape. He has the darkness within him, but he fights it every day of his life. He sees the truth because both the light and dark live within him. He does not belong to one or the other. He is as I am, but he has lived with the truth for far longer than I have.

Sometimes it's hard not to just give in. What could it hurt to live in the dark? I see it everyday, why not let it take over? Sometimes I want to give in so badly that it hurts. It physically hurts. Snape is my savior. He taught me how to live with the truth. He taught me how to be strong in the face of darkness. He taught me that there is more to life than light and dark. He showed me the gray area. He showed me how to escape, if only for a moment. He showed me how to love. What would the great Albus Dumbledore say to that? What would he say to his bloody savior needing a savior? What would he say to his Golden Boy and his trusted Potions master sleeping together? He would probably ignore it. He would pretend like it doesn't exist. Why? Because he is the epitome of light. He holds no darkness with in him. And they say that he is the greatest Sorcerer alive. Ha. He knows nothing of struggle. He knows nothing of pain.

I know pain. I know pain and struggle better than most, but I am still living. Why? Because I have a reason to live. I have someone to live for. Severus. He taught me how to control the darkness and how to live with it and for that I am eternally grateful. He is my escape from all my troubles. When we make love, I see nothing. I am temporarily blinded by neither light or dark, but passion. He gave me passion. Passion for life. Passion for love. He is my reason for living and I his. In this wretched world of the blind I have found solace in the truth. For once I thank my sight. I thank the fact that I can _see_. With out this sight I would never have appreciated all Severus does, all that he is. I used to think of the truth as a disability, but I know. I know that the truth is what holds the world together, whether it knows it or not. It's not the presence of the darkness that matters, but what you do with it. The darkness will always be there, lurking in the light, waiting to swallow you whole. Will you let it?


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